Flatulence Football

Once again, nobody ever said this blog was sophisticated...

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows When the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally "soils" the bed.

The wife says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

The Great Cookie Debate

This Never Not Funny staffer's wife makes a mean chocolate chip cookie. I'm biased, of course, but you can ask anyone around the Never Not Funny office and they'll tell you the same story. Her cookies are legendary.

Today was one of those magical days when the aforementioned chocolate chip cookies were available. As a couple of staffers sat around eating said cookies, one's wife called and asked what was going on. I'm paraphrasing a bit, but the conversation went something like this:

Staffer's Wife: What's going on?
Never Not Funny Staffer: Just eating some cookies.
SW: Where did you get the cookies?
NNFS: T-Dub's wife baked them.
SW: Are they better than mine?
NNFS: Um... they're pretty good.
SW: I hope you get diarrhea.

Update! Said staffer called his wife back and told her he had diarrhea to make her feel better. We may not be sophisticated, but at least we're sensitive.

Guys ARE clueless...

Hey, I'm not saying I'm proud of it, but at least there is finally some scientific evidence that guys are indeed clueless. Seriously, read it at msnbc.com.

Now, when faced with that "did you notice something?" question from your significant other, you can say without reservation, "No, I'm clueless. And Science has got my back."

Also, according to the article, if you're single and trying to attract the attention of a particular man, you'll have to be pretty blunt. The below photo illustrates this point well.

Yeah, we really are that clueless.

Oh, by the way, it's the girl on the right that's doing the flirting.