It's garbage day

Those of you who are responsible for getting the garbage curbside every week will appreciate this... For some reason, my children love to mock me with garbage day. Whatever the reason, they know what day of the week is "garbage day" and love to gleefully remind me, not only that morning, but also the night before ("garbage eve") that I need to take the garbage out. Here's this morning's exchange:

The Girl: Dad, guess what day it is?
Me: I don't know. What day is it?
The Girl: It's garbage day!
Me: No it's not.
The Girl: It's Thursday, right?
Me: Yes.
The Girl: Thursday is garbage day, right?
Me: Yes.
The Girl: So, today is garbage day!
Me: No it's not.
The Girl: *looking puzzled* But it's Thursday.
Me: Yep.
The Girl: So, today is garbage day, right?
Me: Nope.
The Girl: Huh?
Me: That just happened! Doesn't that just blow your mind!

If you're not laughing yourself silly, there are two things you should know: garbage this week is delayed a day due to the Memorial Day holiday and "That just happened!" is a Ricky Bobby quote.

That just happened!

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know that two things Never Not Funny Staffers spend a lot of time doing are playing Texas Hold 'Em and passing gas (once again, no one ever said this blog was sophisticated).

Several staffers have seen the move Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (some, perhaps, too many times) and everyone knows memorable quotes like, "shake and bake" and "if you ain't first, you're last" but we've latched on to a less obvious quotable. "That just happened."

While seemingly mundane at first, the power of these words is quickly revealed when used in the contexts of smack-talking or insults. They're especially effective when followed up with, "Doesn't that just blow your mind?!"

For example, in the context of the lunch-time Texas Hold 'Em games:

I'm all in. That's right, that just happened.

Or, following gaseous expulsion (see flatulence or fart if that's more your speed):

Oh yeah, that just happened.
Doesn't that just blow your mind?!

Of course, it can also be used to put emphasis on an insult as well:

Having a fourth donut, eh Butterball?
You heard right, that just happened!

Those are just few of the plethora of ways "that just happened" can be effectively used. Trust me-there are plenty more opportunities out there. And if you don't get it, well, maybe you're just not cut out for this blog, Einstein.

That just happened. Doesn't that just blow your mind?!