Not just a coat rack

We Never Not Funny staffers are just your average lot. However, time and time again, we're reminded that we, as frightening as it is, happen to be some of the smarter folks on this great planet of ours (see the wet floor post below this one). Trust me, it frightens us, too.

Even in our moments of intellectual glory, though, we have a way of shooting ourselves in the foot. You may have heard the phrase, "Not just a hat rack" when someone celebrates their own brilliant idea and points to their over-sized cranium. Well, a particular Never Not Funny staffer has been known to misquote that phrase as, "Not just a coat rack." So, you see, even in our moments of brilliance, we still manage to be a goofy lot.

Motivational Thought

This little animal is called the Naked Mole-Rat and is from Africa.

So if you are having a bad day and feeling sorry for yourself, remember: You could look like a penis with buck teeth.

This motivational thought brought to you by Never Not Funny. :)

That just happened!

If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know that two things Never Not Funny Staffers spend a lot of time doing are playing Texas Hold 'Em and passing gas (once again, no one ever said this blog was sophisticated).

Several staffers have seen the move Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (some, perhaps, too many times) and everyone knows memorable quotes like, "shake and bake" and "if you ain't first, you're last" but we've latched on to a less obvious quotable. "That just happened."

While seemingly mundane at first, the power of these words is quickly revealed when used in the contexts of smack-talking or insults. They're especially effective when followed up with, "Doesn't that just blow your mind?!"

For example, in the context of the lunch-time Texas Hold 'Em games:

I'm all in. That's right, that just happened.

Or, following gaseous expulsion (see flatulence or fart if that's more your speed):

Oh yeah, that just happened.
Doesn't that just blow your mind?!

Of course, it can also be used to put emphasis on an insult as well:

Having a fourth donut, eh Butterball?
You heard right, that just happened!

Those are just few of the plethora of ways "that just happened" can be effectively used. Trust me-there are plenty more opportunities out there. And if you don't get it, well, maybe you're just not cut out for this blog, Einstein.

That just happened. Doesn't that just blow your mind?!

You're In...

You know, the lunchtime Texas Hold 'Em games that Never Not Funny staffers participate in Monday to Thursday provide a lot of fodder for this blog - I imagine you'll be seeing more and more about these games as time goes on. Anywho...

Because we are at work, there are sometimes distractions during the poker game. It's not unusual for a participant to be checking email on a mobile device only to look up and find that another player has already pushed his ante in for him. "You're in," the proxy-bettor will say. Depending on the mood of the bet-by-proxy participant (whose chips have been pushed in for him), you may hear the rebuttal, "Feces."

OK, caught your breath yet? Cause, man, that is funny stuff. What? You don't get it? You're in. Feces. Still no? You're in, which can sound like urine if said quickly. Then feces. Got it? It's like trading insults. You know, if you have to explain it...